"Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers."
"You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet."
"Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?"
"Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two."
"There is so little difference between husbands you might as well keep the first."
"Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her."
"If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books."
"The concept of two people living together for 25 years without a serious dispute suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep."
"Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage."
"The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less."
"It destroys one's nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being."
"Marriage - a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters in prose."
"Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit."
"Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married?"
"No man is regular in his attendance at the House of Commons until he is married."
"I'd marry again if I found a man who had fifteen million dollars, would sign over half to me, and guarantee that he'd be dead within a year."
"Love-matches are made by people who are content, for a month of honey, to condemn themselves to a life of vinegar."
"Marriage is a feast where the grace is sometimes better than the dinner."
"More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse."
"On rare occasions one does hear of a miraculous case of a married couple falling in love after marriage, but on close examination it will be found that it is a mere adjustment to the inevitable."
|© 2006 The Mine of Useless Information|