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Mark Twain Quotes

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"Do something everyday that you don't want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain."

"There is more real pleasure to be gotten out of a malicious act, where your heart is in it, than out of thirty acts of a nobler sort."

"Therein lies the defect of revenge: it's all in the anticipation; the thing itself is a pain, not a pleasure; at least the pain is the biggest end of it."

"Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream."

"Travel has no longer any charm for me. I have seen all the foreign countries I want to except for heaven and hell, and I have only a vague curiosity as concerns one of those."

"Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself."

"The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them."

"Duties are not performed for duty's sake, but because their neglect would make the man uncomfortable. A man performs but one duty - the duty of contenting his spirit, the duty of making himself agreeable to himself."

"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get."

"The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out, the conservative adopts them."

"In statesmanship get the formalities right, never mind about the moralities."

"George Washington, as a boy, was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth. He could not even lie."

"A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain."

"All generalizations are false, including this one."

"All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure."

"Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more."

"Better a broken promise than none at all."

"Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities."

"Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company."

"Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else; this is not advice, it is merely custom."

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