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Lily Tomlin Quotes

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"Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs."

"The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat."

"I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain."

"If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well viewed."

"Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world."

"Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain."

"Reality is nothing but a collective hunch."

"I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework."

"I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific."

"No matter how cynical you get, it is impossible to keep up."

"The phone company handles 84 billion calls a year, everything from kings, queens, and presidents to the scum of the earth."

"We don't care. We don't have to. We're the phone company."

"The problem with winning the rat race is you're still a rat."

"Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it."

"Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them."

"I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else."

"If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?"

"I've always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific."

"Why is it when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?"

"There's so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic."

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